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june 2023 – angie (interlude)
as the drives home from yours became muscle memory, i started to listen to these feelings in my heart. and against what i thought i knew, contrary to my actual life, i felt alone. the time spent together become sparce, the moments of joy dwindled. i was 'busy', filling my life with many other responsibilities to escape from the reality of exponential change in our relationship. only in retrospect I can see my insecurities masking the false projections and blatant idealism. in flux between the future and the past. avoidant of the present. it's my fault I lost my faith