actual life 2 (February 2 – October 15 2021)


actual life



1.     February 2nd 2021
2.    Catrin (the city)
3.    Roze (forgive)
4.    Gigi (what you went through)
5.    Kahan (last year)
6.    Tate (how i feel)
7.     Hannah (the sun)
8.    Carlos (interlude)
9.     Faisal (envelopes me)
10.   Tayla (every night)
11.    Tanya (maybe life)
12.   Marco (and everyone)
13.   Billie (loving arms)
14.   Billie (interlude)
15.   Mollie (hear your name)
16.   October 15th 2021




march 2023 – tate (how i feel)
It was early March 2023, I had just had an amazing time at a music festival in St Kilda. I remember vividly leaving the festival, crowds of people, and as everyone tried to figure out how to get home, my friend and I just decided to walk. It was a beautiful, balmy summers night and there we were, strolling through the back streets of St Kilda, the sounds of Duke Dumont still in our heads. We made it home and as we decided to roll another joint to cap the amazing day off, I decided to play some music. At that time I had only really listened to Actual Life 3, but I was in the mood to listen to something new. I knew how great Actual Life 3 was, so why wouldn't I make this the time to listen to the others. I shuffled Actual Life 2 and on came Tate. After about 30 seconds I realised I had to shut up and really focus on the song. We sat on the balcony and smoked, listening to Tate, again, and then again, and then we played it again. This topped off what was one of the most enjoyable days of my life. 

That year Tate was my most played song on Spotify Wrapped, and it was all from that night where that song synchronised with the plain of existence I was on. 





         
 winter 2021 – faisal (envelopes me)

            it’s an eleven minute drive, if i overtake and don’t get any red lights. it’s finally our day to see each other. i’ve been alone in my unit for the whole week, and now i can be with you again. i’m speeding, i don’t care. my sleepover bag spills open and over the passenger when i take the first corner. you’ll be the first person i’ve seen all week and the only one i want to see. i imagine feeling your warm, firm hug. i drive through the orange light. the few people on the streets wear medical masks.




         


                you found me drained empty. and for the few months we had each other, it was a cocoon of love pouring back into me. in our cocoon, you revealed that you never really clicked with this song until tiny desk the year before, when you really heard the lyrics. and that it reminded you of me after that. i wish you hadn’t told me this because now i always think of you too. and then i can’t help but think about how a couple months later when i said an envelope is the only tattoo i would want to get, you said it was too closely linked to the summer which had already faded away.








      the secret. the shame. the hiding. and all the fear inside. but the love, too. i felt so much of it. my love was bigger than all of that. it was big enough to envelop us both. so i listened to this but you were listening to scott street instead.




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